Many years ago, possibly before the dawn of time (2009 by my reckoning), a friend of mine called ctznsmith started a blog called ‘spreadhead’ in the hope that it would become a hub for thought provoking articles, incendiary prose and searing insights. Lofty ideals indeed and as it turned out, ideals that weren’t quite matched by that harsh mistress called ‘Reality’. It all started promisingly enough with ctznsmith posting an article about bikes that still pulls in ridiculous amounts of traffic (much to my chagrin, given my pathological hatred for bikes, mobile torture devices that they are) and I myself posting several incoherent rantings about matters that are still way above my paygrade. However, the hordes of other contributors failed to materialise and as time went on, spreadhead started to look less like a fertile seedbed of collaborative endeavor and much more like an axe grinding implement for one man with a limited grasp on politics and time to kill.
Unfortunately, that was just the beginning and matters got much, much worse as I started writing weekly post-Question Time match reports. From that point on, any semblance of spreadhead’s original reason d’etre started to quietly drown under the volume of dork-spam I was producing and choking on a relentless torrent of QT related nerdery. So yes, I have effectly hijacked this website. What was one a utopian dream of shared passions and collective intent has been perverted into a dystopian nightmare of unhealthy obsession and po-faced egotism, so much so that I’ve finally bitten the bullet and rewritten the ‘About’ page (with ctznsmiths kind permission).
From here on in, spreadhead is about one thing and one thing only: Question Time (in fact it’s now been rechristened Questionable Time to further ram that point home). And why, you may ask, would someone be bothered to spend his Thursday and Friday nights, making pithy comments and stupid photoshops about QT? Well, the brutal truth is that watching Question Time is my equivalent of watching sport. I realise that this probably isn’t normal (or healthy), but it’s my cross to bear and if I’m going to bear a cross, I might as well do with it with a bit of style. Thus, the general jist of these reports is to highlight the spectacle in QT. This is not about politics: I have my views and occasionally these views do spill over into my writing, but you have to trust me when I say that I really do try to keep a lid on them. Instead, it’s about five people trying to outdo each other in the quest of some unspecified prize and the lengths they’ll go to to achieve that end. That, and it’s also about doctoring photos in the pursuit of cheap laughs at the expense of people who may or may not deserve ridicule.
Finally, the obligatory ‘About Me’. I’m a 32-year-old mental health worker who lives in the North and spends a disproportionate amount of his time blowing the crap out of virtual stuff on his PC. I also play guitar in possibly the most under-achieving band on earth, overly sympathise with Larry David’s character in Curb Your Enthusiasm and was once humiliated by Monique from Save Ferris whilst naked (true story!). Other interests include shirking and curmudgeonary.
Loudribs
PS – If anyone ever wants to pay me for churning out crap like this, I’ll bite your goddamn hand off.
