Morning Lemmings. As the title picture suggests, I’m afraid you’re going to have to go without your customary post-QT wibbling as I have declared this week a Question Time Holiday. My reasons are as follows:
1. The thought of watching Katie Hopkins, let alone dwell on the spectacle long enough to hash together a tangled mass of copy filled me with such dread that I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. As a consequence, I took the cowards way out and watched Big Brother instead… Which turned out to be just as nauseating.
2. Question Time has been utterly relentless for the last six months. It’s only in the last week that they’ve set a date for the next recess (prior to that, the parliament.uk website simply dished you a big, fat 403 if you had the temerity to check their timetable page) and my head is now so full of political drivel that I caught myself shouting at the cat for failing to identify £6bn of efficiency savings to the Whiskers bill (I say Whiskers. I mean Morrisons’ own brand). A brief respite is required.
3. Finally, and most importantly, tonight marks the culmination of efforts to realise a long held dream. For the last 6 months, myself and my trusted companion JalfResi have been quietly amassing the necessary hardware and software to facilitate our ascension to Geek Nirvana: Co-operative online play that requires neither of us to leave our respective houses. At last, all the pieces have fallen into place: Two suitably powerful PC’s? Check. A pair of Steam accounts loaded with Team Fortress 2 and Left For Dead? Check. Headsets? Check. Both of our partners out of town for the evening? Check check check (see Fig.1)! We even have our own sprays (see Fig.2)! You people may mock, but we say this unto you: At least it’s not World of Warcraft or competitive Live Action Role Play.
So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If you should find yourself rattling with Post Question Time Blathering withdrawal symptoms and need a hit of the good stuff, may I point you in the direction of the excellent Question Time Down The Pub. It’s a similar deal to LCCPQTMR and is fully funny. Alternatively, if you’re in the mood for paranoid, deadly serious, ‘THEY’VE GOT THEIR HANDS IN YOUR WALLET’ rantings, then feel free to check out the bile mill that is Biased BBC (it’s all in the name). I will warn you that I can’t be held responsible for any injuries caused by the inevitable facepalming it induces and you have to supply your own tin foil hat/green ink. On your head be it.
Enjoy, Lemmings and regular service will return next week. Until then, I have a kill/death ratio to improve and a dream to realise. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NIGHT EVER!